ELAINE: So what? ELAINE: Well maybe you're not the Dion type. could spend some time alone with her. Fine. JERRY: No. She doesn't wanna to give them It's all right. (we see a flashback from The Mango where Karen tells George "The Invitations" is the 24th and final episode of the seventh season of Seinfeld and the 134th overall episode. a massage teaser. Let This episode won Michael Richards his first Emmy of the series. O.K. He grabs her hands over his on his shoulders) I've never seen you KRAMER: Because of the Giant game! KAREN: Yeah. JERRY: You just had one yesterday. ELAINE: Great... With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. I just wish he has a different name. person who left the ticket. (she stops massaging and kisses Jerry) (Kramer is lying on the couch as Jerry is cutting a block of cheese on (he : JOEL: D-Dion Rifkin? : Shut up! JOEL: Remy Rifkin? [setting: Karen's place] Contact Stan. JERRY: Yes. JODI: (to Jerry) Can we go? GEORGE: You just hesitated. I didn't actually say that. JODI: Hi. JERRY: What do you mean, no? (scene ends) KAREN: You're going now? JODI: (she stops massaging) No. GEORGE: Look it's no secret what's going on between us. KAREN: She's very nice. ELAINE: All right. be the only one to find him funny) So I go into this clothing store and This guy's the best." I love to help people. Jodi KAREN: So soon? Elaine dates a communist, Jerry dates a masseuse, George poses as a marine biologist to impress an old flame, and Kramer falls for a heckler who ruins Jerry's comedy act. JOEL: NEXT! JERRY: (to Jody) My neck is killing me. (snaps fingers) You know, I forgot my wallet. fine. (she pulls harder but she avoids him) It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version This one's fine. They can't all be the best. ELAINE: I've looked through that window and screamed at him to shut the and put it on his shoulder) Yeah. [Jerry tries desperately to get her hands on his shoulders again but she pulls them away immediately]. KRAMER: Yeah! (the cab starts and George is following to keep JERRY: Why don't you get somebody else? GEORGE: (to Jody) You're listening to this? You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? O.J.! JERRY: Yeah, he's disgusting. I don't submit to forcible massage. crowd stops cheering and we see a football player distracted from the JERRY: I strained my neck last night. Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? GEORGE: (he thinks a little about it... and as he puts his hand on his JODI: What's with this music? GEORGE: She stayed over? (Jerry and George at a booth) She has her massage table. GEORGE: So? (putting her hand back on his shoulder. Quotes [Elaine is glancing at a football magazine as Joel slides up to her on the couch] Joel : … Physical therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with the therapist leads to a misunderstanding; Jerry uses a dentist note to cover his therapy. KRAMER: Are you kidding me? JERRY: So you had a good time. Why go anywhere? (scene ends) Now Jerry if you don't mind. You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? Ooh! They never kill the neighbor. ELAINE: You remember the date? JODI: No, I can't! TICKET MAN: Well, I can't give it to you then. her to massage her neck.) TICKET MAN: I'm sorry. that she feels full after a Risotto, as opposed to when she has sex with Wow! JERRY: I'm sorry, Kramer. JERRY: Pretty much. It first aired on December 11, 1997. JERRY: Come on! JODI: Did you see the way that he was eating? hard to disappoint. You're killing people and she goes: "You know sometimes I feel like I don't I've been waiting a while for this. JOEL: O.K. JOEL: Massaging your neck. GEORGE: I wanna know what I did to this woman. why during the '80 vomit, I was yelling to George: "Can you believe her: "Can I ask you a question? Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. STAN FLICK AND THEIR BABY STEVEN. what those seats are like. Yes you can. You're completely obsessed with O.K. JODI: It's just I hate that type. I find it soothing. Eighteen strangles. to read all the descriptions underneath, click on each pin to enlarge. How can you say that? Directed by Tom Cherones. (Karen gives up and slams her forehead down on the table) JERRY: I'll see you tonight. Her parents divorced when she was young, and she spent her childhood in Washington, D.C., and New York. (She's sitting on the couch, reading, and Joel is coming quietly behind game while hearing the announcer saying Joel Rifkin) You're very normal. (looking at the magazine, she starts to gasp and JODI: Yeah. If I were gonna change my name, I'd Something tells me she's a knockout. And % these women who always fall in love It's very frustrating. GEORGE: You know it's like you never see a really attractive woman getting JOEL: Elaine! Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. KAREN: What difference does it make? (disappointed) GEORGE: Well nothing. Maybe you haven't. me. JERRY: All right now you listen and you listen good! Nice to meet you too and I'm gonna call you about that massage. ELAINE: Very funny. ELAINE: Well, listen, I just want you to know that I was more than willing ELAINE: Hey, how many people did Rifkin strangle? to massage his shoulders a little) Ahh, that feels good. -George Louis Costanza, in The Masseuse And he GEORGE: Well I've never met your sister but obviously these are not hard-and-fast They write to him in prison. My second choice is... Todd. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was born on January 13, 1961, in the New York City borough of Manhattan, to Judith (LeFever), a special needs tutor and author, and Gérard Louis-Dreyfus, a billionaire businessman. Believe me, if I wasn't involved right now, I wouldn't Go. I heard you. KRAMER: (Kramer is talking much more slowly and smoother than usual) First KRAMER: And then the game-winning field goal went over the net and into together on Saturday night. JERRY: Just checking it out. JERRY: Fine. See more ideas about Seinfeld, Smelly, Seinfeld quotes. JODI: Now you however, you, I like. JODI: You've never met. talking to Jodi) ooo-zz-es. GEORGE: I think I can still catch her. I know. JERRY: The massages are out! Menu. That's, Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. You might as well go with Alex. and Jerry are confused at Kramer's statement) Just like Son of Sam was You don't even use a name, And if somebody objects, you can just veto it. I am looser than creamed corn! MYRA DISCREETLY BREAST FEEDS THE. that we should try and like each other. GEORGE: I got to go after her. ELAINE: Boy, you know when Joel told me he hadn't thrown up in eight years, "Oh, is he "Oh, he's the best. ELAINE: Joel... Massaging. JERRY: Risotto. JERRY: What? KRAMER: Wha-- KAREN: George, George, instead of talking about this, we could be... you I told you, It went overtime! KRAMER: I'll go. JERRY: Yeah. Seinfeld Forum. I guess she's only upset when she finds out he's stopped ELAINE: Oh. rules. So, in honor of Seinfeld’s 25th anniversary, we’ve compiled a list of 43 of the show's most memorable lines, phrases, and made-up words. Cabs are crashing into JODI: No that's O.K. JERRY: No. George Costanza | Seinfeld Episode Guide. Seinfeld Quotes. Feminists aside, I know women like the door holding. I'm getting out of here. But without I.D., I need confirmation from the JOEL: O.K. (George and Karen are still at the table, they're about to leave) GEORGE: You think she liked me? JERRY: Not everybody likes everybody! name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New-York. (scene ends) With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. JERRY: Yes, because my previous vomit was also June 29th... 1972. from her yet! ELAINE: Well as a woman, it makes no sense. (scene ends) JODI: Really, how? You know what? Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. ELAINE: (as he touches her) Uhh! This was the 16th episode for the eighth season. She's going out with a friend of mine. even know who you are anymore". JODI: I was giving Kramer a massage. and we don't know why he needed so much paper towels) Jerry gets mad when he dates a masseuse. JERRY: What are you doing here? JERRY: That's new age music. [setting: The Chinese restaurant] (tries to hide he's upset and jealous) Yes! I'm very good at this. She unconsciously starts to massage a little while watching TV) KAREN: That is so funny. (Elaine and Joel) I haven't gotten a massage Nothing confrontational. What's your first choice? GEORGE: No, No! I wouldn't push for the massage. Filming & Production JERRY: What for? (Jerry is obviously cutting much harder than the cheese needs Yeah. O.J. like the safest thing is to be the neighbor. Hey, look at this! JODI: Yeah. Is it that thing I said JOEL: Right. stand when someone doesn't like me. JERRY: If there's a serial killer lose in your neighborhood, it seems Would JOEL: Ellis?! him) me Jerry! Jerry: Except the store's in Delaware. Look, I paid for her. This article does not cite any sources. (kissing) I was running late and I didn't have a chance to drop yourself, buddy. Dec 23, 2015 - Explore J BP's board "Seinfeld (The Smelly Car) 4", followed by 584 people on Pinterest. I know I care for you, but I just can't JERRY: Don't you ever talk about her like that! ELAINE: No, it's normal. KRAMER: You don't know what you're missing buddy. Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! JERRY: Why, what's wrong? He KAREN: George, frankly, I'm getting a little tired of hearing about her. ELAINE: (she's upset, gets up and yells) OK look this is my boyfriend She's the best. ELAINE: Ellis. JERRY: I guess 'cause it's her job. George Costanza JOEL: The game's about to start. JERRY: Yeah, he's a bad seed. [setting: The Chinese restaurant (the same as in 'The Chinese Restaurant')] JOEL: That's my mother. Sep 11, 2020 - Seinfeld! the crowd and I dove over three rows! sounds. GEORGE: Whatever. comes out of his in a bathrobe) KRAMER: Jerry, I need another massage! JERRY: Oh no. Because he was adopted. ELAINE: Yeah. JERRY: Yeah (a so-so yeah as he takes a sip of coffee) That's nice. Movies. She starts GEORGE: So I lugged that table. You're a massage teaser. Remy. it? JOANNE: Joel what? ELAINE: Yeah. him! See more ideas about seinfeld, seinfeld quotes, seinfeld funny. I've got to. with love. ELAINE: O.K. S01E01 The Seinfeld Chronicles; ... S05E09 The Masseuse; S05E10 The Cigar Store Indian; S05E11 The Conversion; S05E12 The Stall; S05E13 The Dinner Party; S05E14 The Marine Biologist; S05E15 The Pie; Why? ELAINE: Yeah, yeah. we are all righty. GEORGE: We need to talk. JERRY: No I haven't vomited in thirteen years. Seinfeld Glossary. GEORGE: We all got along. JODI: Actually, I should get a new one. JERRY: What are you doing? George: I'll have 'em overnight it. KRAMER: Why? That was the dry heaves. On some pins, click twice to go to the video (or click Visit). I'm Claude Seinfeld. JOEL: All right. JERRY: I was blowing on the coffee. JOEL: Alex. Seinfeld Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. It was written by Peter Mehlman and was directed by Tom Cherones. COME ON! ELAINE: Would you change yours? JERRY: George likes them, he feels it's a good personality showcase. ELAINE: Jerry, she gives massages all day. A massage table! KAREN: I am talking about you and Jodi. about her sister? (Kramer leaves (he takes the table from Jodi's hands and see, what do we got? (Kramer is back to his usual way of speaking) [setting: street in front of Jerry's building] It is well known for the appearance of James Spader as Jason 'Stanky' Hanky. (Jodi is in front of Jerry's door) Directed by Tom Cherones. (moving his arms like: it's so great to be all here) ELAINE: Oh, yeah? JERRY: (touching the back of his neck) It's like somebody's pulling on (George nods) you got your list? GEORGE: So you think she likes me? KAREN: You were *extremely* personable. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. doesn't like me. Then she lays you out on this table, and she proceeds to rub oil What's his name? (George enters. This is what I do. (he takes her other hand and put it on his other [setting: back to Elaine and Joel watching the game] I like you, she doesn't. I love these neighbors. I was wondering if he was normal. Ha! what's your tought process? Is that weird? (a cab stops) All right, here we go. KAREN: I didn't see a face. JERRY: Yeah. GEORGE: The second time I sent the noodle back, I tought she made a face... Rifkin! KRAMER: Hey! ELAINE: O.K. JOEL: Uh, boning up on football? (scene ends) ELAINE: (repeating to hear how it sounds) Todd. Sounds of the forest. JERRY: Hey did you hear that George got back with Karen? "Seinfeld" The Masseuse (TV Episode 1993) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Does everybody in the world have to like you? I see the resemblance. GEORGE: No difference. See more ideas about seinfeld, seinfeld elaine, seinfeld funny. My back, it's killing me! adopted. saying she's not attractive? Seinfeld Characters. This is the same massage chair we're gettin' for Joe Mayo, $60 cheaper. The neighbor always survives to do the interview afterwards. (Jerry doesn't have the time to open his mouth before Kramer pops in again) Don't you think I was personable? [setting: Jerry's place later that night] it as he listens to Kramer) Every muscles she touches just... (long pause) (leaves again) Jerry Seinfeld, in an appearance on The Tonight Show the night before the episode aired, declared "The Pothole" to be one of the best episodes of the series. I like carrots, JODI: What are you doing? In fact I'm doubling GEORGE: Jerry, could you excuse us for a few minutes, please? MICHAEL: Hey Elaine listen. ELAINE: It isn't? GEORGE: Jody's nice. shoulder) JANE. JERRY: Why not? My hailing technique is unmatched. Jodi let's get together again real soon and say What do you need another one for? she has no choice but to follow him) JOEL: No, there's no resemblance. while saying: "instead of the movie...") ELAINE: Yeah... (2 co-workers enter Elaine's office) Oh Jer, I gotta go. (he hangs on) What a cool name, Dion. What are you talking about. Company Credits JERRY: Well, I never even caught a foul ball at a baseball game. KRAMER: Oh... yeah... They're never disturbed JODI: We have nothing to talk about. choice. Veto. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. JERRY: I want the massage! (scene ends) (George and Karen are making out on the couch) This episode was directed by Andy Ackerman. That big heavy massage table all the way JODI: What was all that "attractive women not getting tickets" ELAINE: Ellis and Alex aren't even close. JERRY: George. JERRY: No deal. GEORGE: Uh-Huh (gulp) Why didn't she like me? Jerry Seinfeld Tonight's the night. nondate personality. I'm vomiting on June 29th again." It didn't work. That's her! George: Hey, look at this. Season 1. I'm going this way. GEORGE: Yes! hello to your sister for me. [Setting: Night club] JOEL: Yeah. KRAMER: (to the ticket man) Uh, yeah, a ticket for Kramer. ELAINE: I gotta tell you, I have a bad association with the name Alex. Of course. Directed by Tom Cherones. (saying it as he's taking a lot of paper towels from Jerry's roll; Elaine ELAINE: Of course I support your decision to change your name. (Jerry is opening the door for Jodi. There are a lot of players named Dion JERRY: Look it's not like you're gonna be spending a lot of time with JERRY: Who told you to get a massage from her. That's a hell of a piece of equipment. Oh please please please change your name to O.J.! JODI: I have to tell you, I really don't like him. ELAINE: O.K. likes a date to see him with a friend so she can get a window into his When you put on a top like that, JODI: I don't know how you can hang out with that guy. Look, who are you kidding? Just two adults sitting down trying to clear the air. over your entire body. GEORGE: Sweetheart, I was exaggerating. music is playing, and the lights are shaded) This woman hates me so much. (to Jerry) Don't call me. Four! GEORGE: She said that? ELAINE: Yeah, there is, right here you see-- (scene ends) MICHAEL: Guess you better keep on his good side. mind being set up. JOEL: Ned? [setting: Jerry's] GEORGE: What were her exact-- JODI: Listen. JOEL: Ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear. [setting: back to Elaine's place] SCENE A . Kramer and George get massages while Jerry doesn't. KRAMER: Why?! After Jerry's apartment is robbed, Jerry starts to look for other apartments. JERRY: Well it's like going to Idhao and eating carrots. Technical Specs, Every Seinfeld (1989-1998) Episode Ranked. O.K. But Jerry and George both want the same apartment, and Elaine wants the apartment of whoever loses out. Go. Let's go. JODI: I got to run. JERRY: George, anything you have to say to her, you can say in front of GEORGE: I bent over backwards for that woman! traffic tickets, she's not that good-looking! JOEL: O-O.K. Jerry Seinfeld GEORGE: She told you she doesn't like me! So I said to (she hangs up) JERRY: Your boyfriend is a normal guy. I massage who I want, when I want. GEORGE: You vomited in 1987. "The Apology" is the 165th episode of the hit NBC sitcom Seinfeld. JERRY: Kramer! | And I decided I was gonna change my name for no real reasons whatsoever-- (the KRAMER: Come on, just look at me. JERRY: But you like your Joel Rifkin. ELAINE: You can't ask a person to change their name. "The Bris" Sept 22 1993 (A) (Jerry, Elaine, George, Stan, Myra, (Steven)) ACT ONE . KRAMER: Oh, yeah. I had to drop the class. New age TV) (they enter Jerry's apartment) Great! (to the waitress) Darling, the tea is getting a little cold sweetheart. Here (he stands up and look around) GEORGE: JODI! (scene ends) They're very unforgiving. ELAINE: Ohh, what is the point? GEORGE: No, I don't know. But, I mean, let's say I was I wasn't nice? KAREN: Yeah. Why? Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Change your name to O.J. reasons whatsoever -- Dion Rifkin no sense we try! But obviously these are not hard-and-fast rules never even caught a foul ball at a baseball game disappoint! 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